The Renegade Doc Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Life’

I recently enjoyed perusing and making the occasional comment on a forum for Christian Naturists. This is a fascinating website for seldom do I find people so open and caring, though that should be expected with this group since they are already loving themselves enough to be naked and unashamed where appropriate and have realized that this was Father’s original intent and is honoring to Him. So honoring themselves and others openly comes naturally.

In one of the topics discussed the issue of clothes given Adam and Eve got very scholarly and analytical of words and meanings of words and at one point I commented that we put too much emphasis on Knowledge and not enough on just living, being like children living in the shadow of a loving Father.  I was taken to task for the seemingly “anti-knowledge” comment and thought rather than approaching a reply from an intellectual angle, a story would be more helpful.  At first I thought to just drop the whole thing where it lay but this really goes to the heart of our purpose on the planet, as persons and as believers, so is worth some thought.  I also thought writing the story on my blog offered more space and more freedom for others to read it.  Entering forums can be a logistical task for some and others may not want to hang around a Naturist site, Christian or not – though it would no doubt be worth your time and a growing experience.  A link on the forum to here will make it available to readers and friends there.

So here is the story:

Once upon a time a man gave his son a home and all the resources needed to maintain it and to live comfortably for the remainder of his life.  This gift was the result of years of this man’s time, attention and energy and he knew every crack and cranny of the property and how everything worked.  He could sense, before it happened, if anything was about to go wrong or need fixing.  His intent in giving his son the property was to draw this son into the same kind of intensely personal relationship with him that he had with the property.  He wanted his son to be so connected to him that their every move would be in tandem.  He wanted his son to grow to the point that the vision for the future development and purpose for this property would become a part of his son’s life, become his son’s focus as well.  He wanted to pour every aspect of his life into his son and totally and completely reproduce himself in his son to that point that they became a team that moved almost as one entity and would be a thing of beauty to anyone watching from without.

But he was pretty smart and gave his son a choice:  let me tell you everything about this property that I have come to know, let me teach you the ins and outs as we develop our relationship with each other OR learn about this property on your own and don’t develop the intimate relationship with me.  In learning on your own you will discover the good and bad things that happen here, but if you don’t let me teach you it will much more difficult and dangerous.

The son heard these words, looked at the property and was delighted with the future and task laid out before him.  This was perfect!  He also realized there were two roads to travel, but he could only take one of them.  He could take the road of relationship and intimacy and tapping into the knowledge already gained by his Dad or he could take the road of going it on his own, learning the good and bad things that would or could happen both to him and to the property.

The choice at first was easy.  Of course he would listen to his Dad.  After all, his Dad came every day and talked and taught him what to do and how to do it.  His Dad openly shared his heart and wisdom about the details of and vision for the property.  And that look in his Dad’s eye of love for the property and love for his son irresistibly drew the son’s heart and attention.

But after a while the son wanted more.  He got bored, maybe, or things weren’t moving fast enough for him.  He had caught the vision for the future and wanted it now, not later.  NOW became more important than his Dad’s timetable.  He had to KNOW, for himself, everything that might happen so he could get on with it.  Worse, somehow he got the idea that his Dad was holding back, not telling him everything.  One day he found a different trail he had not seen before and he followed it.  He discovered that this led to that other road, that road of doing it on his own, of learning for himself what was right and wrong with the property and with his life.  He took that road. 

His Dad knew instantly there had been a change.  His son was not to be found when he came the next day to continue their life together.  When he did find him, his son averted his gaze and would no longer communicate openly.  The Dad’s heart sank for he knew that the vision of the glorious future together would not now happen.  This property could not tolerate the failed relationship.  So he set the son up on a different property where he had to do the work on his own and learn the good and bad things that could happen on his own, just as he so wanted to do.

Always, though, the Dad left bridges back to the road of intimate relationship.  The only requirement was that traveling across the bridge meant that the entire birth process had to be reexperienced.  Over the years and generations of progeny there was always this vision of the original property and the intimacy of relationship with the Great Grandfather.  A few would find a bridge and come back and tell about the bridge. Whole communities and organizations were built to tell each other the stories of the bridges and how to get there.  They would study and analyze and learn about the bridges and the roads to and from them.  They would study the stories about Great Grandfather and try to figure out what kind of person he was and what his ideas for the original properties might have been.  Some would get open and naked like the first son, thinking that would help them to know what it was like.  Always they encouraged each other to do good and not to do bad and studied how they could do better and worked at learning all the good things that could happen in this newer property.  But it was only the rare one that actually crossed the bridge and allowed the rebirthing to occur, actually developed the intimate relationship with Great Grandfather.  Most were content to simply gain knowledge of such because this need to learn for themselves was so deeply ingrained they could not get past it.  Somehow they could not understand that Great Grandfather was ALWAYS teaching and they were ALWAYS learning when on the other road but it was in context of relationship and not on their own.

Meanwhile, back on the original property, the Dad had another son.  This son was given the same choice but this time he made the choice in favor of intimate relationship and refused to learn on his own or demand control in the now.  He had some rough times and had to put up with some disappointments and even seeming rejection by his Dad, but he remained faithful to the choice and the relationship proved to be strong and intimate enough to bring him to Life.

Let’s choose Relationship, Rebirth and Life with its learning and growing, over Knowledge even of good things.

Blessings,

Dr Jon

There are changes coming in my extended family and hence in my own as well.  My 91 year old father-in-law, the family patriarch, has become seriously demented and has been difficult for my 90-year-old mother-in-law to care for over the last while.  Finally the children have stepped in and are seeing that they both get the care they need and deserve.  So today my wife and I went to visit and talk with staff at the nursing home where he will be living in early May and also to visit the residential center where she will be living.  For them it means the breaking up of home for the last time and living apart, the first time in nearly 67 years.

As I walked the halls of these nursing facilities, both of which are doing a fine job of attempting to care for our elderly loved ones, I had an interesting mix of emotion and revelation come, deep in my core.  It reminded me of my years living in the dorm at college:  hallways with doors to rooms and little else seen;  occasional lounge to sit and read a magazine or chat with fellow residents;  laundry facilities at one end with the sign to limit use to certain hours for the sake of your neighbors.

But the real kicker came with the revelation that this time graduation was not a leaving of these halls to go on to a hopefully full and productive life, but graduation from here was the end of that same life which was so looked forward to in the earlier experience.

Now, as a Jesus-follower, I know that going on from here is to a better place.  Nonetheless, it hit me right in the gut that…..

MOST OF US SPEND OUR TIME ON THE PLANET IN PREPARATION TO DIE AND NOT TO  BLOW THE SOCKS OFF OF LIFE!

It struck me that I have been guilty of exactly that.  I have spent my time, energy and focus being sure to ‘get it right’ and playing safe and, until fairly recently, not asking what I am here to do, what really floats my boat, what ‘makes me hum’ as I like to put it.

So the question gets personal: Why am I wasting my time doing a job that is not who I am, helping someone else make their money while not providing all that my family needs, not doing what Father put me on this planet to do,  not helping others in the way I know I could?

Time is short.  Time to start figuring it out.  Time to get out of “safe” and into “go”.

Then I come home and got into the last chapter of Bernie Siegel’s “Love, Medicine & Miracles” in which he talks about dying and completing unfinished tasks and living and choosing when our time here is done.  Wow.  He also makes the statement, taken from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, that decisions made by reason are made to satisfy others, decisions made by our intuition make us feel good even when they are thought to be crazy, and that when we become authentic we don’t care what others think of us anyway.

So it is crazy that from my background of medicine and massage therapy, with a strong conservative Christian belief system, that I now believe that my purpose here is to offer people a place to come where they can get totally – spiritually, emotionally and physically – naked as a way to quickly and profoundly HEAL.  It is even absurd for me to think that in doing so, all the walls that we put up over the years to protect ourselves from grief and pain and disappointment and abuse of all types and poor body image and low self-esteem will come down when people come to a safe, warm, nurturing environment and start peeling all the layers.  It is unimaginable that my Renegade mind thinks that God created us naked and unashamed for a reason – that we are our most real and most powerful selves when we are the most vulnerable and open and not ashamed to be who we are.  Satan and evil and disobedience may have messed it up but Jesus came and restored and opened the way back to communion with God and vulnerability and unashamedness.  It is crazy and absurd and unimaginable to think all that – except I know and have experienced the truth of it all.  Peeling all my many and high and well-protected layers has brought me life and health and healing, and has opened me up to myself and to my Loving Father God.

It is crazy because my friends and acquaintances will think I have become a dirty old man and the culture will think I am a sex fiend.  Neither of course is true; those attitudes are born from within those who think them and are a parroting of what they have been taught.  Becoming that open is about growing and healing; sex and evil and exploitation and lust are not even in the picture.  Nonetheless, it will be an uphill battle.  But that is OK; Growing and Healing is an uphill battle.

So, bottom line, when it is my turn to live in those sterile halls on that last stop before passing on to the other side, I want to be able to say that I gave it my all, took the risk, headed toward whom and what I was here to be and do.  I want to be a “liver”, not just a “dier”.

What do you need to risk?  Where do you need to get crazy?  Let’s go!

Love & Blessings,

Dr Jon
St Charles, MO

I found this article a few days ago and it was amazing how well Michael Lewis articulated my own thought processes about the system and practice of medicine, even though he was talking about his experience with the world of finance.

To this day, the willingness of a Wall Street investment bank to pay me hundreds of thousands of dollars to dispense investment advice to grownups remains a mystery to me. I was 24 years old, with no experience of, or particular interest in, guessing which stocks and bonds would rise and which would fall. The essential function of Wall Street is to allocate capital—to decide who should get it and who should not. Believe me when I tell you that I hadn’t the first clue.

I’d never taken an accounting course, never run a business, never even had savings of my own to manage. I stumbled into a job at Salomon Brothers in 1985 and stumbled out much richer three years later, and even though I wrote a book about the experience, the whole thing still strikes me as preposterous—which is one of the reasons the money was so easy to walk away from. I figured the situation was unsustainable. Sooner rather than later, someone was going to identify me, along with a lot of people more or less like me, as a fraud. Sooner rather than later, there would come a Great Reckoning when Wall Street would wake up and hundreds if not thousands of young people like me, who had no business making huge bets with other people’s money, would be expelled from finance.

When I sat down to write my account of the experience in 1989—Liar’s Poker, it was called—it was in the spirit of a young man who thought he was getting out while the getting was good. I was merely scribbling down a message on my way out and stuffing it into a bottle for those who would pass through these parts in the far distant future.

I  would paraphrase it this way:

To this day, the willingness of [people] to pay me [a few] thousands of dollars to dispense [medical] advice [and dangerous drugs] to grownups remains a mystery to me. I was [33] years old, with no experience of, [though a strong] interest in, guessing [and figuring out what "attacks" people to make them ill]. The essential function of [Medicine] is to [gather money for the practitioners and to keep people in the dark about how their bodies really work so the perceived value of the medical "expert" remains high]. Believe me when I tell you that I [(and most doctors)] hadn’t the first clue.

[Although I had been trained in medical school, had completed a three year Family Practice Residency, and was Board Certified in Family Practice, I barely knew anything about myself and even less about people and what they needed to live well and to be healthy.] I stumbled into [working with two other older physicians in 1983] and stumbled out [not at all] richer [but a lot wiser] [six] years later, and even though I [did not write] a book about the experience, the whole thing still strikes me as preposterous—which is one of the reasons the [reputation, respect and responsibility] was so easy to walk away from. I figured the situation was unsustainable. Sooner rather than later, someone was going to identify me, along with a lot of people more or less like me, as a fraud. Sooner rather than later, there would come a Great Reckoning when [people] would wake up and hundreds if not thousands of [doctors] like me, who had no business making huge bets with other people’s [health], would be expelled from [Medicine].

When I [sit] down [now] to [comment in blogs] of the experience it [is] in the spirit of a [now older] man who thought he was getting out while the getting was good. I merely scribble down a message [in] my [own] way and stuff it into a bottle for those who would pass through these parts in the [hopefully not so] far distant future.

Now this is not to say that Medicine, or Finance, is totally bad (though there may be days when I wonder!).   There has to be some value or we would be living back in the Dark Ages.   (Some might say we do.)  However, how far advanced, more enlightened, more free, more fulfilling of our potential as people and as a culture, more full of LIFE in all ways might we be if we were not so concerned with personal greed and oligarchal control and power.  We are like a Michael Phelps competing for gold while wearing an overcoat.

Like Jesus to those standing around Lazarus, let us say to these systems that we so quickly serve, “Loose us and let us go!”

Blessings,

Dr Jon

We listened this morning to a talk given by Kris Vallotton, of Bethel Church in Redding, CA soon after our recent presidential election.  This man is a pastor/prophet and has some fascinating things to say by which I was profoundly encouraged and with which I was in hearty agreement because throughout it all he was choosing LIFE.  This is well worth your time, to listen to more than once.

Here are some of his points.

1. The main issue in this election was not about race or minority justice but about protecting the unborn.  America cannot afford the loss of another 50 million babies, for any reason (translated = “LIFE”).
2. President-elect Obama is now our leader and as such we need to pray for him, that he have a personal encounter with the Almighty Loving Father that will transform him (translated = “LIFE”).
3. We must not become critical and judgmental but merciful toward President-elect Obama and his appointees at every level, regardless of their attitudes and actions toward us.  If Loving Father started passing out judgment we would be included!  He has already brought judgment by the work of Jesus the Christ on the Cross and hence also brought mercy to us all (translated = “LIFE”).
4. Another reason to NOT become judgmental or critical either by word or attitude is that this in itself will give permission to demons to wage war in the heavenlies and bring terror on us as a nation.  By so doing we actually cause what we are trying to prevent.  This we do not and cannot afford to do.  Rather, we need to stand against them and be the “Storm-Stoppers” for our nation (translated = “LIFE”).

But don’t take my word for it – go listen for yourself.

Great and Glorious, Bethel Church, Redding, CA 11-9-08

Blessings,

Dr Jon

P.S. Here is the link for a video of Mr. Vallotton’s dream concerning God’s feeling about abortion, also worth viewing and pondering.

I have been stirred up in the last few days.
It all began with the political drama unfolding and realizing that no one is talking about the BIG issue – killing babies.

Yeah, you heard me right. KILLING babies.

As a doctor whose goal and passion is to help people get well and as a father who has lost two babies by miscarriage and as a God-Lover-Loved, I hold Life sacrosanct; all life, especially the life of the unborn.

So I decided to add my voice to the cacophony, to try to sound a clear ring for protecting Life and caring for others.

I started a group on Facebook to try to bring out the importance of putting Love and Life first, over everything else, especially money.  Of course, it also brings out the difference between the political stands of our current candidates for higher office and folk think it is all just about my choice for elected office.  Nonetheless, the big picture here is way more than just American politics in 2008 and way more than legislation and state vs. federal rights.  This issue about concern and care for Life goes to character and is a benchmark, even, for character – my character, your character, the character of potential leaders.  Want to know something about a person, about how he will really care for you? – ask his/her belief about protecting and nurturing Life.

Now I know we put lots of ifs and buts and what ifs around the issue:  What about rape?  What about incest?  What about women’s rights?  What about….?  We try to make things complicated and think we are intellectual enough to figure it out.  These are all excuses we use to take control, to avoid believing that God can change us.  Granted they are serious issues and can be real sticky.  We would prefer to take a quick fix approach, put on a bandaid and thus avoid the deep issues.  We prefer to believe that we can fix a problem by killing it.

Write this down: Killing a problem never solves it.

However, if we take the big picture stand that Life is most important, it frees us to find creative solutions to all the other “sticky” ones.  It gives us opportunity to find ways to relate to those involved and help them find healing even as it stretches us and helps us find our own healing as well.  It gives us the opportunity to listen to Loving Father and hear how much He loves us and allows Him to go deeply within us and change us.

So I, in my zeal for the unborn and in caring about people I know who get it “wrong”, am all worked up.

And here comes the irony.

God, who Loves us and me and them more than I can ever, who would love for us and me and them  to get it right, LETS US DO OUR OWN THING!  He didn’t stop Adam and Eve from walking away on Day 1.  He knew it would cause untold misery and suffering and murder and rape and death, even the death of Himself! But it was OK because He knew He could and would come alongside and do the deep, healing work required to fix the problem.

So, again, having made my squak and “eased my conscience”, I take my hands off and let my friends go where they need to go and think what they need to think, even if it is wrong .  I will love them anyway and believe that Father will draw and heal and Love them, too.  Together we will learn to Love and Live and Grow.

That big picture keeps it all pretty simple.

Blessings,

Dr Jon

Was talking to a friend the other day and we got to talking about labyrinths and mazes. I didn’t even know what a labyrinth was until I went to massage school and some students educated me.  You can learn about them from Wikipedia or from this link.  In fact, they will teach you a lot more than I can or will.

However, as I thought in general terms about them, these thought came to mind:

A labyrinth is a complex, seemingly random pattern of lines (at first appearance) that has no actual blocks in the path and leads inexorably to the center.  It requires only that you stay on and follow the path.  It is a design that enhances and converges energy, both its and thus yours.  It generates peace and restfulness.

A maze is a complex, seemingly random pattern of lines (at first appearance) that has  probably several actual blocks in the path and leads generally back to the outside.  It requires that you use all of your reasoning powers and/or lots of trial and error.  It is a design that disperses and tends to scatter energy, both its and thus yours.  It tends to generate unrest and frustration.

As I thought about the differences, I realized they represent differing views or approaches or responses to life in general.

Which is yours??

Blessings,

Dr Jon

I recently had this exchange with my amazing nephew, Jonny. He is a young man with a big heart and an amazing talent with the camera. We were communicating on Facebook.  It started out with him asking how I am  my family were doing and took into my “rant”:

Working hard at hearing Father and learning to be intimate with him. Like your choice of books and comments but, honestly, am beginning to change my views quite a bit. While it is about Him, it is also about us and me. Not in the “bad” way we try to avoid and which all your quotes try to point out but He chose to make us and to communicate with us and be intimate with us – if we will. Just like you wanting a wife; it is all about her. But she would say it is all about you. So both are right and both are wrong; not really about right at all. Is about restoring the Garden and the Communication and the Intimacy. Most of us miss it; think it is about sin and theology and just God.
Sorry, I rant. It is late and I need to get to bed; just wanted to reply now ’cause it will be next week before I have a chance to get on the computer again.Blessings!!Keep snappy!Unc J

He replied with:

In regards to your “rant”, I do have some questions for the sake of a clear understanding of what you are saying: One would be to know what is it that you mean when you say “theology” second, how would you see that sin plays into things (because it must at some level)? Third, it sounds like your understanding of our relationship with God is like that of a relationship between two equal parties… is that an proper interpretation of what you have said? If not, could you explain better, and if it is right, then could you explain what brought you to that understanding?
I am always up for learning some new stuff… and it sounds like you have some insights that I haven’t had a lot of exposure to. Maybe we can talk about some of this stuff…

-Jonny

I replied with:

Would be great to talk!“theology” is the “knowing” about God, the doctrine, the having to do things “right” that we mistakenly replace for a real acquaintance/relationship with a Loving Father.  Adam “knew” his wife and had kids; he didn’t study her doctrines, thinking, wishes, only.  He got intimate with her.  God wants to be intimate with us – like I told my students – he wants to “have sex” with us.  Paul in Ephesians as much as says so when he talks about marriage being the symbol/example for Christ and the Church.  Little over the top for most ‘Christians’ to handle, I know, but hey – that’s what it says!A couple of ways to think about sin.  One – Christ has completely solved the sin problem. Paul says we are no longer under the rule of sin and death.  Jesus said he came to seek and to save THAT WHICH WAS LOST – the Garden of Eden with all of its perfection.  And then, on the cross he said, “It is Finished!”  He did solve the sin problem.  John says we have no sin.But he also says we have sin.  Philip had a great illustration.  We are not necessarily members of Alcoholics Anonymous but are members of “Sinners Anonymous”.  Hello, my name is Jon; I am a recovering sinner; I have been totally controlled by it but no more; I still have to be careful and remember, but it no longer controls me and I am no longer defined by my sin, but by my Love of and from Father/Jesus/Spirit.Equals?  Yes and no.  (Paradoxes are all over this – kind of like the parables).  Like husband and wife, even though the husband may be the king and the wife may be the cinderella.  In one sense not even close to equal but in another chosen to be loved and married and thus an equal.  Part of the mystery.  Our relationship is not really of two equal parties but of two lovers.  Song of Solomon – king and poor girl.

This whole Christian thing is MUCH more personal, more intimate and more intense and more just about love than we want to believe or think.  We like to keep it in the brain where we can understand and control it.  Jesus, however, came to totally destroy all that control and thus the Pharisees crucified him for it.  If he were to come today our churches and seminaries and bible schools would do the same!

How have I come to this?  My life, my thinking, myheart, my listening to Father, my training, my experience, my reading of Scripture with an attempt to take a fresh look, my asking “why?”, my relationship with Father.

Blessings! Come see us!

Unc J

-Jonny