Conversations About Life, X

Our conversations about Life continue, now with a bunch of questions about life that the last conversation brought to the front.

And P. laid them all out:

OK Jon,

I get the drift about being one, coming from Eastern thought, but what about scripture like

“For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.”

What happens to our core being, our personality as such?

Our sense of self?

Is that what dies?

I have pondered this for a long time.

I think what the western culture has done is try to numb the pain of life thus numbing true feelings and sense of self.

What Christ has done is opened up a whole new way of relating to human beings by connecting with the deep, deep pain of life by suffering.

I can relate better to the suffering servant, realizing that He understands pain because He as a total human and total God experienced the ultimate rejection and pain possible.

I have always had a problem relating to the resurrected Christ and all of His power and glory.

Even Heaven and death is very, very scary to me.  “Oh death where is thy sting?”

Any thoughts along the way?

I get what  you said about being totally open and bare before God but I felt SO BAD after being real with how I REALLY feel.  Like I did the unthinkable!


Admitting I didn’t have a lot of answers, I responded with:


Not sure if I’ll answer your questions completely, or should. I’ve been pondering this whole dilemma since I last wrote also (and for years, actually). Seems like the issue keeps coming up.

Here is what I come up with.

1. We Christians/theologians/church goers have it all figured out, or think we do. Problem: inherent in our thinking are the assumptions that a) we have a wicked heart and b) we have to cover it up and do righteous things, good works, whatever, to prove to ourselves and God that we are worth redeeming and all His suffering, or we have to suffer along with him to somehow earn a place.

BS – all of it.

That we use “Scripture” translated under the auspices of a reprobate King in a language that we don’t even speak anymore and apply to our own culture makes it even more BS.

That we use our brains makes it evern more BS.

2. Yeshua came to bring us life and life abundantly. He came to seek and to save what had been lost. What had been lost was naked, unashamed intimacy with Father, living outside of Knowledge and in Life, abundantly.

So here goes.

Life is to be lived. Period.

Not analyzed, scrutinized, organized, theologized, doctrinized, churchized or any other “ized”. Just lived.

Let’s look at life for a minute.

Life begins when two beings unite on a high plane of vibration and apply sexual energy to a creative end. Physically we call that having sex, but that is just a picture of what is happening or is supposed to happen all the time on higher levels.

You and I are “joining hearts”, “having sex” if you will, via email,

[a bold statement here, probably totally misunderstood by most readers, but please continue reading and understand what is being said and construed – this is the essence of life here on the planet – author]

vibrating at a higher plane, with the intent of creating life within both of our hearts, calling out something of Life that will grow in each of us and make us better, more alive, stronger, more like Father. Not “sex” like our little minds think of it, but much grander than that.

From the act of creation is birthed something living which then has to be nurtured, fed, watered. Physically we do that for babies with food and water and clean them and hug and hold and touch them. We give them our life, our vibrations.

On the higher plane the same must take place. Once a person or persons birth something in their hearts of Father, that must be nurtured, fed, watered, touched, emoted.

At some point it takes on a life of its own and becomes independent, or it dies.

We unite with Christ/Father – vibrate together on a higher plane, have “sex” with – and Life occurs. Not by some mental acceptance we now call “belief” but by deep. sexual energy based, core life/heart based coming together. That Life then needs to be nurtured, fed by energy from Father/Yeshua. Intimate “breast feeding” by communing in spirit, talking via scripture, talking by the myriad of ways he talks to us all do that.

The “family” (church), as is true of our families here, often get in the way, limit, detract and hold back.

We need to get to the independent stage before we even go there most of the time.

We get and stay naked with him just as infants do with their mothers. They simply react/make known thoughts and feelings, LIVE. No thinking, planning, hoping, controlling, grieving, complaining; just communicating. They just ARE, just doing what life does.

Life poops and pees, coos and smiles, cries and laughs. It just does.

Parents do NOT require the new life perform in any way or think poorly of it when it poops all over itself or them.

At some point, after years of observing and training and being fed and nurtured, the new life does take on some responsibility and independence, yet still stays connected to Father and family in a good and helpful and productive way, as part of the family council with input, not as the receiver only.

In this bigger picture, and in the language and picture of Yeshua, most of us are bastards and not sons. We are religious nincompoops with Satan for a father. Churches are foster homes abusing and leading astray, preaching a false gospel of oppression and performance and never connecting us to the heart and Life of Father.

We need to just get real as you have done.

Just live.

Accept each day whether it brings rain or sun, “good” or “bad” for there is neither. In the big picture, both rain and sun are good and necessary for Life, each in its own time. And if for some reason we get too much rain and flood and lose homes and land and friends, we deal and go on and accept. If we get too much sun and get desert we deal and go on. From flood and desert both come balance and life at some point.

Here is an analogy I like to use:

Imagine yourself riding naked on the back of a motorcycle which Yeshua is driving. He is a wildman, driving in any weather, any road conditions, at any speed. And THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT ANY OF IT!

Where he goes you go.

Now you can lean forward and speak into his ear that you are uncomfortable, and he wants you to do that, but you do not control anything!

You do have two ways to approach it, however.

You can be excited and “yippee, let’s go” knowing that he is the absolute best driver in the world and would NEVER take you to some place in some way that would be ultimately harmful,


you can be fearful and mistrusting and hoping to jump off and get back in control; or worse yet, boot him off and drive the cycle yourself.

Now, Yeshua did “suffer” but his cycle was driven by Father and he DID NOT try to control, in any way. And he did not count it as suffering for the joy that was set before him. He had the right perspective; there was no real suffering.

So, yeah, we “lose” ourselves on the cycle, but we can choose to become truly ourselves in doing so, alive to the excitement, the wind in our face, the intimacy of hanging on to our Lover/Driver as we explore new places with him and observe him test his limits of skill as the driver.

Or we can “gain” ourselves and never know what it is like to take that ride with him.

This world and the programs we get from early on are all about control, drive the cycle yourself, Father can’t be trusted, he is too wild.

Yeshua came to point the other way. Heaven, Life, Resurrection is simply the letting go of control, getting on back and having fun just living in the excitement and danger and deeply felt core/sexual energy of the moment. It is the ultimate “rush”! And in it there is no place for condemnation or performance or control – at all.

Doubt that this makes sense. Guess it is not supposed to. It is not sense/knowledge we need but Life!

Love and blessings,


Until next time, keep living!


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