The Renegade Doc Comments

If someone were to come up to you on the street and ask you,

“Why are you on the planet?” or,

“What is it that really makes you hum?” or,

“What is your deepest and most true and most significant desire?”

what would you answer?

Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, and other personal improvement “gurus” use the term “chief main purpose.”  Whatever you call it, the concept is that there is something that, above all else, drives and motivates you to function, to live.  For many, if not most, this seems to become buried very quickly upon entering the planet and we lose sight of that purpose and fall into the “life of quiet desperation” as Thoreau so aptly put it.

The quest I have been on to discover my own deepest desire I think is finally over.  The journey to work it out is just beginning.

I personally began thinking that I would be a teacher and that expanded into aiming toward becoming a professor and researcher in the area of quantum chemistry/physics.  That truly made me hum.

But in the process the road took a hard right turn when I bounced off the “guardrail” of a motor vehicle accident and I found myself in medical school instead.  Instead of teaching a few interested, or not, students about the wonders of the atomic world, my heart expanded to teach many more people, in their times of hurt and pain, to find comfort for body and soul.

This also took a sharp veer off in the direction of alternative medicine – nutrition and other nondrug therapies.  At this juncture I added the label of “heretic” or “renegade” though I have fought this label for many years.  Only recently have I discovered and accepted that such a title more adequately describes and reflects my deeper heart.

In the interim I have attempted to help people, and myself, in other ways.  I have passed out medical information, encouraged folks to start a business and do some marketing to try to improve themselves, talked about organic food, did lawn care and landscaping while emphasizing natural fertilizers, and offered my hands and heart by way of massage and bodywork.  All of this was done in an attempt not only to help people, but to quiet that deeper longing, that still small voice way down inside that was pointing me to my deepest self and purpose.  Incidentally, none of the other things which I have tried could be considered overly successful – though I am a GREAT bodyworker.

As I have followed this unrelenting voice I was led further down the renegade trail, into the world of getting naked, literally and figuratively, and experiencing a growing understanding of how powerful this is to bring healing.  In spite of our culture’s aversion to it, the stories and experiences of large and growing numbers of people are documenting the value and healing power it brings.  This is, of course, no surprise since Father created us in this way and only our failure to follow him changed our perspective.

And it is this which has finally brought me to the realization of my deep heart:

More than teaching, exploring the secrets of creation, helping people, alleviating pain, solving problems, or taking people into places of deeper healing, I desire first and foremost to live as if I were once again in the Garden of Eden.

My desire is to nakedly and unashamedly walk and talk with my Creator Father that loves me, and you, more than I can possibly imagine, more than my heart could possibly contain, to spend every moment with his voice in my ear, knowing that he is pleased that I care so much for him and desire to relate to him.  I am not talking religion – that is all lies and illusion.  No, I am talking the reality of Life in a way that affects what I do every moment, what my “job” looks like, what my relationships look like, what my bank account looks like, what my activities look like.

Impossible, you say?  I don’t think so.  Uncommon, yes, for we get so deceived by religion, and caught up in living and making a living, but NOT impossible.  In fact, as I realized all this about my true and deepest self, it came crashing in on my consciousness that the Lord’s Prayer, so called, is precisely a call and an expression of desire to return to the Edenic relationship.  I have no doubt that when Jesus/Yeshua taught us to say this prayer, he had the picture of Eden in his mind and heart.  His purpose in coming to the planet was to restore what had been lost, and it is exactly this Edenic existence which was lost.

“Our Father” – not a label but a deeply emotional recognition, spoken with deepest love and respect and honor, of a person who loves me infinitely.

“Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is done in heaven” – a call for me to live in that place that was first experienced in Eden when Father’s will was followed and he was free to come and talk and share his heart.

“Forgive me as I forgive” – the way back to this place of openness and freedom.

“Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one” – the choice NOT to eat of the tree of knowledge, the choice to tell the serpent when he comes to deceive and bring doubt and make us think we have to control our own destiny that we will instead follow the loving and true heart of Father no matter how it looks for we KNOW that his love is uncompromising and complete and fulfilling and more than enough.

So this is my naked heart and soul, my deepest desire and deepest and truest self.  What is yours?

This has and will no doubt continue to take me further down the renegade trail and what that looks like I have no idea, but it will be a trail into Love, of that I am certain.

Blessings,

Dr Jon