More Than an April's Fool

33 years ago my soon to be wife, Susan, and I looked forward to life with excitement, anticipation and optimism.   She was completing nursing training with a BS in nursing.  I was completing a Master’s in Chemistry and about to begin Medical School.  Together we would be the perfect tool of Loving Father to bring health and hope to hurting people.

Enter life.

Medical school was depressing in every way, culminating in significant disappointment when realizing medical missions was mostly transference of American technological medicine on people who could not afford it.  Residency was a struggle though had its bright moments when able to help the “downtrodden” poor of Harrisburg, PA.   Life in the beautiful Shenandoah Valley of Virginia was great but the practice was not so much about helping people get well as just maintaining the status quo.  Meanwhile, the lossin the womb by miscarriage of hard-to-conceive infants  took its toll.

One answer was to search for really helpful ways to assist people gain health and much in this area was discovered in the world of nutrition and natural care.  Unfortunately that isolated me in all ways from the medical community and I found the practice, the career and the ability to truly point people to health dying on the vine.

The organic farm after a few years also failed to produce results, aid for others or even more than a bare minimum of provision for self and family.

A providential move to St Louis rejuvenated the batteries at one level and though there was lots of helping of people going on, there was little about health or healing.  Massage training and practice offered hope once again as a practical means to truly unlock peoples’ hearts in a way that they could truly heal but for whatever reason, either lack of skill or interest, that option also soon withered.

So it would be easy to say that after 33 years I am the fool, and not just an April fool, either.  It would be easy to say I should have stayed in the practice and played the game, made my money, established the career, helped the few who might have been helped and quit dreaming.  Better yet, it would be easy to say I should have been the medical missionary and gone and given my time and energy to people somewhere who didn’t have what we have; could have looked really the great guy to have done that.

However, I continue to be more than an April’s fool for I still believe that there is real and deep healing to be had, healing that does not come out of a pill bottle or even some fancy procedure.  I believe that healing will come when we do the inner work necessary to get past the fear, the disappointment, the grief, the inadequacy we all carry and excuse in ourselves.  I believe that when we can get that naked with ourselves, and with others (confess your sins one to another and you will be healed – James, in the Bible) the expression of freedom and release that it brings will reflect in changed bodies, changed attitudes, changed actions and even changed resources.  I am still fool enough to believe that it will even work for myself as well.

I am still fool enough to believe that when Loving Father created us naked and unashamed and placed us in a Garden of pleasure, it was his intention that we live that way and live each day in close communication and intimate relationship with him.  I am still fool enough to believe that Jesus restored the means and power to live there once again and that Father waits for us to become that intimate with Him once again.  I am still fool enough to believe that loving people is what we are here to do, and not just tokenly with some program or good deed activity, but with our hearts, our lives, our time and our energy, meeting them where they hurt and need and being loved and healed ourselves in the process.

I am still fool enough to want only to be that kind of friend to Him and though all the disappointment and lack and frustration and grief in my own life has made it difficult to experience, my foolish self is holding out for the Garden experience in all its intimacy and fullness and abundance.

I am not just an April fool but a year-round fool for bigger and better.

Love & Blessings,
Dr Jon

4 Responses to “More Than an April's Fool”

  1. Please read my comment on “Living or Dying”, and apply the same for this one! Lots of Love ~

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